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Me and My Shadow
Dr. Rob Stevens
I have been an avid reader of new age and spiritual books, texts, news and opinions. If you do this, it won’t be long before you come across esoteric discussions and advice about “shadow work”.
Initial thoughts were of hand puppet shadows. I can do a dog, a rabbit and a bird. However, it might be a good idea to explore this subject a bit more seriously.
In the physical world we have a shadow cast when illuminated. In the spiritual sense our shadow is that part of our personality and memories that we suppress or deny.
I’d like to think we are born into this World with a fairly clean slate. Throughout life we absorb all our experiences, good and bad. It’s part of our subconscious or “shadow” that ends up being a bit of a dustbin for all those things we want to hide or rather not remember.
Those who are trying to raise their awareness and set themselves free always seem to be recommending “Shadow Work” – that deep dive into our own “dustbins”. Now that we know what it means it’s not surprising most people aren’t particularly keen on reliving past unpleasantness. Besides, if you’re a “normal” human you’ll have developed self-denial as part of growing up from an innocent newborn into a gnarly adult.
There’s nothing to see here, moving along quietly …
If you’re still with me and haven’t recoiled at the thought of a deep dumpster dive or think “there’s nothing wrong with me” then maybe I can offer a slightly different perspective.
Once you realize everyone on the planet is dragging around their dustbin then it becomes easier to accept your own. We’re all in good company as it were. Recognizing this straight away sets you up to be a lot more compassionate. The result could be a lot less anger, ranting and frustration in your life.
The keyword above, as I see it, is “accept”. There’s nothing in this shadow work that says we erase or permanently forget. I don’t believe that’s possible or indeed helpful. I can’t un-see what I’ve seen and believe me I had seen quite enough thank you. Taking the analogy of the dustbin a bit further leads to recycling.
How about putting all that stored emotional energy to good use instead of leaving it to pollute our personality and behavior. Energy is never truly created or destroyed but it can be transformed.
I soon realized my poor choices and behavior might be better understood and then the anxiety associated with them let go. Not all memories are dealt with simply, but I’ve started with the easy ones and I’m getting better at it. The deeper you dive into your dustbin the more practiced you’ll be at “recycling”.
Certainly, from my perspective, Rome wasn’t built in a day, so I think it’s entirely reasonable to allow myself plenty of time to lift the lid and process what’s inside.
It’s not been about making excuses; it’s about using the feelings it conjures up to learn to do things differently next time. If you confront those difficult memories and emotions with compassion, forgiveness and understanding then that emotional weight gets a lot lighter and a lot less onerous going forwards. When that happens, life runs more smoothly as we won’t just fall into patterns we’ve followed in the past.
“Every aspect of you, whether you like it or not, can benefit your life” – Debbie Ford
Therefore, become more aware of your shadow side and choose to integrate it into your life in positive ways. Channel repressed anger into a passion for a worthy cause or a creative endeavor. Remember we cannot create or destroy energy, but we can transform it!!
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