Geoengineering has become mainstream in recent years, and on the outskirts of these scientific discussions, you will now find some pretty wild and hilarious weather manipulation ideas.

The mad scientists get even madder.

GEOENGINEERING MADNESS

As readers know, we closely follow geoengineering programs and advancements here on the website.

But some of the newer, more radical and bizarre proposals, are so absurd that I don’t really have the words to put it into a detailed article. Some are hilarious, some are concerning. Some are theoretical, some have actually been tested (failing terribly).

Indeed, the mad scientists are getting more out of control, so it’s time to highlight these ideas.

I thought to myself: why not put them all together in a single list?

Geoengineering refers to “large-scale manipulations of Earth’s climate systems to counteract the effects of global warming”, and that’s according to Princeton University.

But as you’ll see below, some of the ideas are very far-out and have very far-reaching implications.

Space mirrors:
Not over my house!

Yes, the space mirrors ideas exactly as it sounds — giant mirrors that are supposed to orbit the Earth and “reflect sunlight away” from our ‘warming planet’.

The concept was even successfully tested once by the Russians in the 1990s, as a way to beam solar power to Earth, but the project was later abandoned.

According to Rand Corporation, besides technology “unreadiness”, this idea could cause “regional shading”, which could “impact regional agriculture and environments”.

Mr. Burns from The Simpsons would be very happy.

Stratospheric Controlled Perturbation

SCoPEx is a scientific experiment to “advance understanding of stratospheric aerosols that could be relevant to solar geoengineering”.

It aims to “improve the fidelity of simulations (computer models) of solar geoengineering by providing modelers with experimental results vital to addressing specific science questions”.

Such simulations are the primary tool for estimating the risks and benefits of solar geoengineering, but current limitations may make the simulations look too good.

SCoPEx will make quantitative measurements of aspects of the aerosol microphysics and atmospheric chemistry that are currently highly uncertain in the simulations.

It is not a test of solar geoengineering per se. Instead, it will observe how particles interact with one another, with the background stratospheric air, and with solar and infrared radiation.

Improved understanding of these processes will help answer applied questions such as, is it possible to find aerosols that can reduce or eliminate ozone loss, without increasing other physical risks?

At the heart of SCoPEx is a scientific balloon, fitted with repurposed off-the-shelf airboat propellers.

Hey, don’t you laugh!

The “repurposed propellers” (okay, it’s pretty funny) serve two functions.

First, the propeller wake forms a well mixed volume (roughly 1 km long and 100 meters in diameter) that serves as an experimental ‘beaker’ in which we can add gasses or particles.

Second, the propellers allow them to reposition the gondola to different locations within the volume to measure the properties of the perturbed air.

SCoPEx builds on four decades of research on the environmental chemistry of the ozone layer in the Anderson/Keith/Keutsch groups. SCoPEx will use or adapt many of the high-performance sensors and flight-system engineering experience developed for this ozone research.

Analysing these experiments will improve our knowledge beyond what is currently available within computer models or is measurable with confidence under laboratory conditions.

Enhanced Rock Weathering

This involves spreading finely ground minerals on land to accelerate natural weathering processes, absorbing CO2 from the air, and storing it in minerals.

It mimics Earth’s natural long-term carbon cycle but speeds up the reaction rate.

The science is sound, but MIT says the cost of grinding, transporting, and mining the rocks/minerals needed takes a lot of energy — sometimes creating more emissions than it saves.

Glacier Blankets:
The priciest ski accessory in the Swiss Alps

This is perhaps the most hilarious idea on our list.

It seriously takes the cake for the dumbest geoengineering idea I have ever seen.

Not dumb in a radical or concerning way, but just plain stupid.

I introduce you too.. “Glacier Blankets”…

Yes, blankets for mountains to protect it from the sun. Absolutely hilarious.

I don’t know about you, but if I take a nap outside in the sun with a blanket, I guarantee I’ll end up very hot. This is an idea, remember, to ‘prevent global warming’,

Poor glaciers..

The craziest thing is these are already being tested in Switzerland — gigantic white geotextile coverings to “shield quickly melting glaciers from solar radiation”, but “still allow water to permeate”.

And guess what.. they are ‘protecting the alps’..

How inspiring..

Do these people have blankets for the rocks in their heads?

The largest is ‘blanket’ is the size of seven soccer fields.

In Switzerland alone, blanketing all the glaciers could cost $1.52 billion per year.

Perhaps they aren’t so dumb after all..

Artificial Upwelling and Downwelling

Next, they say devices could be used to “pump cold, nutrient-rich water to the surface (upwelling) or warm surface water to the depths (downwelling)”, potentially altering local climates.

The hypothetical upwelling is also hypothesised to ‘absorb Co2’ and ‘store carbon’ as it sinks back to the ocean floor.

But as Geoengineering Monitor says, the tech is “at best unproven” and could pose big threats to marine environments, ecological cycles and even the climate.

A similar story found in geoengineering stories.

Biochar:
Using charcoal to improve soil health and remove CO2

A 2023 study between researchers in Sweden and American colleges says that using ‘biochar’ — a type of charcoal made by heating leftover organic material — could not only ‘boost soil quality’, but also ‘remove CO2 from the air’, and ‘store it in the soil for centuries’.

The dark side?

According to Geoengineering Monitor, there are supply issues (and the slaves that underpin these resources) and long-term effects still haven’t been studied enough.

Pumping water from under glaciers to stop sea level rise

In the 2020 novel, ‘The Ministry for the Future’, scientists help slow sea level rise by pumping water from below glaciers because this warm, salty water is speeding up erosion (which it is in real life).

The creators of this idea seem like they have read this book and want to give it a go.

For now, scientists have looked at a variety of similar options, including draining or freezing the bed; retaining snow; stiffening shear margins with ice; blocking warm sea water entry; or thickening ice shelves.

And “surprise”, it doesn’t work.

Most of it is untested, though in Norway, they are pumping meltwater at the bottom of a glacier into a hydropower plant. Let’s not forget how much these regions influence the climate.

And yet we want to leave these people in charge of meddling with it?

Give me a break.

So, there you have it, folks.

Some of the most bizarre ideas on the fringes of geoengineering, although they are all bizarre when you think about it. Attempting to manipulate the climate to your will.

Not yet covered on this website, of course.

Once a ‘conspiracy theory’, it is now wide in the open for all to see.

Below is a recap of some of the more well-known ideas, including newer experiments off the ground.

THE FAMILIAR ONES

Carbon capture and storage:

This technology ‘sucks CO2 directly from the air’ and ‘stores it underground’.

This technology already exists and is storing almost 45 million tonnes of CO2 each year, mostly zapping CO2 from highly polluted air around big power or industrial plants.

People like Bill Gates are even suggesting we bury dead trees as a way to ‘capture carbon’.

Boy, oh boy.

Ocean fertilisation:

Speeding up photosynthesis in the seas, but at what cost?

More than a dozen open-sea experiments are in play, and while it is one of the more researched ‘carbon removal methods’, the environmental side effects could see dead zones seen from algal blooms.

In Science magazine, one expert called it “barking mad.”

Here in Australia, amendments are seeking to regulate the influx of experiments in the sea.

So that only the government and their companies can cash in, of course.

Stratospheric aerosol injection:
Hello cooling, goodbye bright blue skies

By spraying reflective particles into the stratosphere, this method aims to “reflect sunlight away from Earth, mimicking volcanic eruptions’ cooling effect”.

According to the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change concludes that it “is the most-researched solar geoengineering method, with high agreement that it could limit warming to below 1.5 °C (2.7 °F).”

Drawbacks? Lots!

At the very least we’d have to say goodbye to clear blue skies, good health and more.

Artificial trees:
Sucking Co2 from the sky with mechanical forests?

We have not covered this on the website as such, but this idea has been around for a while.

Unlike natural trees, artificial trees can be designed to use chemical processes to ‘capture and store CO2 from the air around the clock’. This is already being experimented with at Arizona State University.

Although, they don’t look much like actual trees at all..

The captured CO2 can then be stored or used in industrial applications. The problem? The trees are the size of shipping containers and an estimated 100 million would be needed to stop excess emissions, according to BBC. Economically speaking, natural trees are still way more efficient at absorbing CO2.

Ocean alkalinity enhancement:
Like giving the ocean an antacid

By dumping alkaline minerals into the seas, scientists theorize that oceans, which already hold more carbon than any other part of the biosphere, can store more CO2.

Organization Ocean Visions says this could help some marine life struggling due to acidification, but that more studies are needed to show how it would impact other species. Plus, cost remains an issue.

Cloud seeding/Cirrus cloud thinning:
Get rid of high clouds that trap in heat

On the contrary to cloud brightening, this theoretical method is about thinning cirrus clouds — high, cold ice clouds that, on average, warm the climate more than they cool it.

While this idea was mentioned by the International Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), the international experts said there was low confidence in the idea because not much is understood and it could increase global precipitation.

Of course, there is also cloud seeding, which we have also covered in great depth.

“All three of these research areas are interlinked,” says Naresh Kumar, Ph.D., executive director of atmospheric sciences at DRI , “because they all deal with climate intervention. Cirrus cloud-thinning is on a more global scale, whereas cloud-seeding and heat island impacts are very local, but they are interrelated. 

In 2023, prominent American climate researcher James Hansen argued that emissions cuts alone won’t go far enough to stop climate catastrophe, so geoengineering is needed, however unfortunate.

The same year, other experts called for a worldwide moratorium on efforts to geoengineer climate.

The vision of finally ‘playing god’ in the skies is coming to fruition after many decades.

And the destruction is all by design, as we have previously explored.

DEEPER EXAMINATIONS

For more in-depth investigations on geoengineering, see the following pieces below:

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