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Rewriting Our Relationship With Death
Rev. Kat Carroll
When someone dies, we automatically say “I’m sorry,” like we had anything to do with the person’s passing. For the survivors, it may be a time of guilt—for not having said everything they could have, for not being patient or loving enough, or perhaps for taking the person for granted. The regret can weigh heavy.
Yes, we’ll miss their touch, their smile, their company, their scent. But they are never truly gone, only transformed.
For the one leaving this visible world, death is but a doorway—one we all eventually go through. It should not be met with fear. It is simply a threshold into another dimension, another way of being. The good news? It carries the soul out of pain and suffering and into higher consciousness.
So why are we sorry? Why do we mourn?
Cultures That Celebrate the Crossing
Personally, I think the cultures that honor and celebrate the dead have it right. Many of these traditions trace back to Pagan roots that revere the cycles of life, death, and rebirth. They are grounded in nature, and time, and the rhythm of the stars:
- Irish Wake: A traditional event in Irish culture that blends mourning with celebration, featuring storytelling, music, and food, rooted in both Pagan and Christian influences.
- Day of the Dead (Día de los Muertos): A Mexican holiday celebrated on November 1 and 2, where families gather to remember and honor deceased loved ones with altars, offerings, and festive activities.
- Nine Night Wake: A Jamaican tradition held nine nights after death, marked by celebration, dancing, food, and music to help the spirit move on.
These traditions don’t erase sorrow, but they transform it—into gratitude, remembrance, and shared joy.
NDE Revelations
Those who’ve had near-death experiences are often forever changed. Especially those with no belief in the afterlife, who considered themselves agnostic or faithless. I’d love to see the look on their faces when they find themselves enveloped in profound love and light—greeted by friends and family who’ve gone before them. What a reunion that must be.
Lessons in the Timing of Departure
Is there a lesson in the timing of our passing? Could it be that some souls choose their exit before they even enter this life? If so, there are deep implications. Some may come not just to live, but to teach—through their very departure.
Not everyone dies heroically, but we honor those who do. What of those who chose to pass in this moment of history, possibly to awaken others to the importance of sovereignty? To bodily autonomy? To the right to say, “No” to toxic intervention?
And what of those who abused their bodies, or lived in ways that led to early departure? Perhaps their death becomes the seed of a vow among loved ones: to live better, to do better, to break the cycle.
What Fuels the Fear of Death?
Is it the unknown—or something we were taught to fear? Old religious dogma has long suggested that without the right beliefs, rituals, or obedience to authority, one risks hell. What a horrible thought to instill in the young!
There are far better ways to build a caring society—through cooperation, compassion, and empowered choice. But when society defaults to rulers and kingdoms, overreaching governments serving the few rather than uplifting the many, the people suffer.
Maybe in this time of revelation, as the guilty are being exposed, we can learn from their mistakes and choose not to repeat them. Maybe we’re on the edge of a new world, rising in higher consciousness. One where we finally understand: we are eternal beings. There is nothing to fear. Not even change. Especially not change.
They used to say nothing is certain except death and taxes. Well—even that’s changing!
The Veil Is Thin
Grieve not for the dead. They may be laughing at us from the other side—or guiding us, nudging us not to repeat the mistakes made by others.
Honor them. Thank them. Lift them up… Remember the joy they brought, the love they shared, the wisdom they left behind.
Don’t define them by their end. Celebrate their whole story.
Let the love flow like water, from both sides of the veil. Because it does. And it always will.
A song came to mind as I was finishing this up. Many of you will be familiar with it.
Buck Dharma had it right all along… Don’t fear the reaper
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