Why have we stopped protecting our daughters.

 

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(comments – Simply put.  Thank you Jacqueline.  This is engineered behavior to not only confuse the masses but to continue to harm the divine feminine, cause competition and “cat fights” and leads way too many people into sex too early, sex slavery and causes the boys/men to only see body parts and aid and abet in the in-humanity.  Boys and men – WAKE UP  – We need HEROS not ‘Johns’.  Mothers & fathers – don’t compromise your daughters.  It’s a dangerous game that is started so cute and casually.  Please also subscribe to:  http://www.fightthenewdrug.org
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(here’s the article and link by Jacqueline):

My heart is breaking for our daughters. I’m aware that it is likely that I will receive negative reactions from my readers, however I feel the need to speak out. Please do not confuse my thoughts as snooty legalism or me thinking I have all the answers~ it is that I care deeply about our young girls.

My purpose is not to judge anyone, but to hopefully awaken parents of young children to the damage that is being caused by knowingly or unknowing immersing our young girls in a culture that is sexualizing them earlier than ever before and with terrible consequences. Please extend me grace as I try to share difficult thoughts, but it is so important to raising our young girls to be whole, modest of heart, and content with who God created them to be. They will some day grow up to have little girls and boys of their own, and they will need to be well-grounded in much, much more than the latest makeup and how to be eye-candy for the boys.

WHY HAVE WE STOPPED PROTECTING OUR DAUGHTERS?

One year we held a large event in a convention center right next door to a state cheer-leading competition. It was quite embarrassing to many families as we walked down the shared halls, and what a distraction to our sons and daughters! From the littlest tots to the teen girls, all were decked out with heavy make-up, sparkles, fake eyelashes, and racy outfits that mirrored NFL cheerleaders. More than a few at one point lay in the aisles with their legs up in the air doing splits (stretching), exposing themselves without a second thought. Mothers were fussing with their hairdos and giving last minute touch-ups as they got ready for the next routine, loudly urging them to ‘show ’em your stuff’.

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(WITH JUST A LITTLE SEARCHING I FOUND SOME VERY TROUBLING ARTICLES. THIS WAS PUBLISHED IN ESPN THE MAGAZINE IN 2010 AND HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR SOME TIME. A SAD WAKE UP CALL FOR ME.)

Many mothers dream about seeing their child break into something big, to be the next Mary Lou Retton (my era) or achieve notoriety and financial success like a Hollywood figure they admire. If they have to learn to dance like Vegas showgirls, well, that’s OK.

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(MARY LOU RETTON)

Some mothers want their daughters to be beautiful and admired and enter them into beauty pageants. We women are so often lured into this type of thinking—we are sucked in by our desire for attention and affirmation through an appeal to our flesh and vanity.

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There is a temptation for a mother to use her daughter’s attractiveness as a way of validating HER own self-worth. Patsy Ramsey was a former beauty queen, but I doubt that she foresaw the tragic end to their story.

“Today, hundreds of thousands of children participate in pageants. Many of these children enter their first pageants as toddlers, even infants. Before they can even walk, they are dressed up in sequins and wear heavy make-up to compete for cash and crowns. The modern child pageant industry includes over 25,000 pageants and brings in over a billion dollars per year. The pageant world is obsessed with physical perfection and the parents of these children will go to great lengths to secure the crown for their daughters.” (source)

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Major retailers are certainly not doing anything to help. Here is a CBS headline that caught my attention: Abercrombie bikini tops: Threat to girls’ mental health? In an actual Barbie-world store, the main aim is marketing to 2-8 year-olds.

I am trying to address something that has been on my mind and heart for years since that weekend at the convention. What I have to say may turn someone off, or it may help someone wrestling with this topic of parental involvement and the strong guidance of Mothers, in particular, with daughters.

“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.“ ~Galatians 6: 7-9

Why are we not protecting our daughter’s hearts and minds, helping them to ease into adolescence and womanhood without a heavy burden of thoughts and exposures they are not emotionally ready or equipped to handle?

The feelings of comparison and competition to look perfect, be the best, and get noticed take their focus off of the simplest foundational things that should be of greatest importance: being part of and fitting into a family, discovering through healthy play and study indoors and out, learning to work and help run a home, cook, and care for others in an unselfish manner with a cheery heart, build a healthy mind and body by getting good sleep and eating nutritious meals, not to mention a relationship with the Lord! Building these foundations take years of consistent input and prayer for guidance by a conscientious Mother (and Father).

This article is not speaking about normal dress-up play that many young girls enjoy. That is part of emulating who they want be someday, but beware lest dress-up loses it’s innocence.

Consider what your children watch and how it will affect their body image and tastes. Even a small exposure to something that awakens them to thinking about appearances or sexuality before it is necessary draws them into un-wholesome comparisons. TV is filled with actresses that spend hours with make-up artists and seldom look like that on a day to day basis, but a child’s mind doesn’t have the discernment to understand that.

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We have become such a narcissistic society that we have stopped being intentional somewhere along the way!

Much of our striving has to do with how cute we can be and the attention we can gain. It seems today our value is measured by how outwardly beautiful other people think we are. And we wonder why we have girls dealing with depression and potentially life-threatening eating disorders; they feel they can’t measure up to the world’s elusive definition of beauty!

Do you believe that parents can/should have a strong influence over what their daughters and sons believe about sexual purity? Should we just give up and abdicate our position as mentoring parents because it is too hard or embarrassing to discuss sex, relationships, and other difficult topics?

Dr. Joe McIlhaney, a board-certified obstetrician and gynecologist has come to some very disturbing conclusions over his long career caring for girls and women. His observations?

“By in large, the family in Western culture has stopped protecting its girls. Today’s young women are growing up way too quickly. We have abandoned our protective role for young women, especially in regards to guiding them in male-female relations and marriage. Hollywood programs geared to teens and young adults often glamorize the idea of young women who are sexually aggressive and loose.” Have we lost our minds?

It is heartbreaking to read what Dr. McIlhaney says about the impact, both physically and emotionally, that America’s sexual culture is having on young women. The back cover of Dr. McIlhaney’s book Girls Uncovered states, “Our daughters live in a culture that sees sex as both a sacred right to be exercised with anyone, at any time, and also as ‘no big deal.’ This culture of ‘hooking up’ among teens and young adults is no longer a secret.” And, it is having disastrous and long-term effects on our young women, not to mention undermining our young men in purity and character.

So the question for us parents is: How can we help our young women live holy lives in our upside down world?

The end of James 1:27 exhorts us to keep ourselves “unstained by the world”. How can we encourage this in our daughters and young women, knowing full well that they are bombarded daily with messages that do anything but encourage holiness?

I believe it must start when our girls are little, it comes from how we model our lives in front of them, and has a LOT to do with what we expose them to all along the way! And if they are not little anymore? We then cry out to the Lord and build that relationship with our daughters as best we can.

1. Teach the whole Word of God in all it’s fullness and truth, trusting the Holy Spirit will water the seeds we plant in our daughter’s lives. Do it with joy and gladness, remembering it can’t be done in a day or a week. Over many years give them a thoroughly biblical worldview through which to see the world and make future decisions.

2. Bind your daughters hearts to you and your husband by interacting with them in everyday life. Protect them by spending time with them in wholesome pursuits. These years will never come again so we must ask for grace and wisdom to use them wisely.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” ~James 1: 5

I asked our 20 year-old daughter to recommend books that influenced her, and these are some of her favorites:

Why Have We Stopped Protecting Our Daughters?, little girls in make-up, growing up too fast, beauty pageants for girls, Dream girls, early sexualization of children, early puberty, heart-breaking, awaken parents, legalism, speak out, young girls, culture of death, terrible consequences, damage, young children, make-up, eye-candy, boys, modest, content, convention center, cheer-leading contest, competition, embarrassing, families, sons, daughters, tots, teen girls, decked out, sparkles, fake eyelashes, racy outfits, NFL cheerleaders, stretching, exposing themselves, hairdos, fussing, show 'em your stuff, mother's dream, wake up call, ESPN, The Magazine, Mary Lou Retton, Hollywood, break into the big time, dance, Vegas showgirls, beautiful, admired, pageants, flesh, vanity, temptation, Patsy Ramsey, beauty queen, tragic end, toddlers, infants, cash, crowns, sequins, pageant world, obsessed, physical perfection, major retailers, Barbie-world store, marketing, parental involvement, strong guidance, Mothers, fathers, Galatians 6:7-9, deceived, mocked, destruction, reaping , sowing, proper time, weary in doing good, womanhood, adolescence, exposure, emotionally ready, heavy burden, dress up, healthy play, learning to work, running a home, cooking, caring for others, good sleep, cheery heart, healthy mind, nutritious meals, foundations, prayer, consistent input, article, innocence, body image, tastes, sexuality, un-wholesome, actresses, make-up artists, discernment, narcissistic society, appearances, imitating, emulating, understanding, intentional, depression, eating disorders, measure up, definition of beauty, strong influence, sexual purity, mentoring parents, difficult topics, discuss sex, Dr. Joe McIlhaney, board-certified obstetrician, gynecologist, growing up, protective role, male-female relations, marriage, sexually aggressive, loose girls, lost our minds, America's sexual culture, Girls Uncovered, book, hooking up, long-term effects, purity, character, no big deal, holy lives, James 1:27, messages, bombarded, unstained by the world, Word of God, Holy Spirit, joy, gladness, biblical worldview, world, decisions, wholesome pursuits, bind hearts, grace, wisdom, James 1:5, ask God, book recommendations, favorites, Beautiful Girlhood,  The Companion Guide to Beautiful Girlhood, read with Mom, read-aloud, Set-Apart Femininity, Authentic Beauty, If I Perish, Evidence Not Seen, balance, sheltering, charm is deceitful, pray without ceasing, Guidelines For Sexual Purity, Randy Alcorn, age-appropriate, Books for feminine beauty and purity, Leslie Ludy,

Beautiful Girlhood and The Companion Guide to Beautiful Girlhood are ideally to be read with Mom. Set-Apart Femininity and Authentic Beauty are for a bit older (10 and up?-you be the judge), and both have companion guides. These books are very helpful for us mothers coming out of the culture, too!

If I Perish and Evidence Not Seen are for older daughters who are going deeper in their faith, learning to live an others-focused life.

I wish I had a formula for a balanced approach to protecting your daughter’s heart and mind from the culture without totally sheltering her. For me it was mainly an awareness that I needed a wisdom much greater than mine. This brings new meaning to ‘pray without ceasing’!

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.” ~Proverbs 31:30

If you haven’t heard of Randy Alcorn, oh, I want you to! Here are the wonderful Guidelines For Sexual Purityhe has shared with sons and daughters and their parents for years. These can be integrated into daily teaching our little ones (in small, age-appropriate doses, of course).

For Pinning:

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Why Have We Stopped Protecting Our Daughters?

3 thoughts on “Why have we stopped protecting our daughters.

  1. I would truly like to have an understanding of women as living human beings. Of course I acknowledge that they really are living human beings and beloved daughters of God and co-equal with sons of God. The hard part is truly understanding them. They are very complicated and each one is different from every other one. I seriously doubt that there are very many who even understand themselves. I lost all hope about 45 years ago when a successfully married man in his 80’s told me that he had been married for 60 years and that he did not understand women. I am very fond of cats partly because they are very direct, honest, and uncomplicated.

    I did not marry until I was 44. Then I married a beautiful crone of 65. I retain a vivid memory of being a kid but, or course, no memory of being a parent as I never was one and really never wanted to become one. It has seemed to me that people, women especially, tend to get a little crazy once they become parents. The way the mothers of the little girls in the article act and think is in keeping with one of the kinds of crazy that some parents seem to achieve. I guess that, as long as the little girls are enjoying it, there is no problem. If they are not, then that is something else. As time and progress go on with these girls, we could hope that the obsession with fluff and vanity will be amalgamated with more serious concerns.

    In witnessing some of the common behaviours among teenaged girls and young women presently, it seems to me that the great majority could benefit from an education in charm school and then finishing school. That would cut back on the blackguard vernacular that I frequently hear from them. It grates. Are there even any charm schools in business presently? I have not known of any for a very long time.

  2. It’s a deeply shocking development to see young girls turn into grown up women, at the age of 4 or 14.
    In my hometown I’ve seen schoolgirls on their bike, mobile phone in one hand, with make up and clothes that makes them look much older. I’ve been thinking about why the suppression of a genuine feminine nature in a girl, her unique way of being a girl, has become so visible and why it seems to have become so much part of our society, also on billboards, in toyshops and magazines.

    To me, it seems to be the loss of being in touch with the feminine quality, in those men who turn into studs ready to climb their mares. When loneliness sets in, often shame isn’t far away and those men prefer to find satisfaction in a virtual way, sitting in front of a screen. So afraid of a real woman of flesh and blood, the real thing. Like boys at the age of 8?

    The make belief virtual images, of women and girls, look as much like ET races as any grey or lightblue being of another starsystem. Other men who lost their feminine quality, for whatever reason or condition they may have, manage to find secret ways to find satisfaction in the flesh, no matter what age or gender.

    I’ve met a woman in Holland, at the start of 2015, telling me of her upbringing in a Satanic family. Her father was “the godfather” and organised the meetings. She went through hell and worked hard to escape that world, in hiding for years, finding forgiveness for having killed 2 people, in ritual ceremonies. She found a men who escaped a similar background and was now a mother of 2 children, very strong, having gone through a tremendous process to find peace with herself again and with life.

    Only, for her children she feared, wanting to give them home-schooling. She knew, by her background, that Dutch headmasters of schools are involved in the world she escaped and that children at school, are taken out of the classroom for a couple of hours, under pretense of an innocent activity, taken to homes where they’re sexually abused and hypnotised, so that they’re silent about it. Returning in class as if all is okay. There’s an enormous amount of bribes involved, which is welcome to large schools who are in a huge competition with other schools, in order to survive.

    I knew of the London Hampstead child-abuse horror, the videos that came out, with testimonies of those children, on You Tube, at the time I met this woman. I still remember my physical reaction, hearing this woman’s story. My body wanted to run away from it, didn’t want to hear it. But I stayed and comforted her, after telling her of my instinctual reaction.

    Later, walking back home through the city center, I felt like as if there were underground labyrinths present, beneath my feet, I felt deeply disturbed. Took me a couple of weeks to overcome this experience. I pray for the healing of those men who lost touch with their hearts, it must be a very desolete and cold place to be in.

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