How I Stopped Seeking Approval And Accepted Myself

By Guest Writer William Rodgers,

I often see people looking for recognition and acceptance within a certain community. And as much as I understand their situation, I can’t fully agree with their actions because when I look back at my past, I see myself in them.

I used to seek approval too and was constantly on the lookout for attention. But then everything changed when I decided to think about everything seriously and decide what I really want from life. Here’s the story of how I stopped seeking approval and accepted myself.

Forgive & Forget

It was hard to forgive myself for the things I constantly blamed myself for. I would make myself feel guilty for something very small and unimportant. But if I wanted to change, I needed to get rid of this self-loathing.

I looked back at my past actions and told myself that everything was alright. I forgave myself and let myself forget about these things and stop clinging to the past. From now on, I would be looking into the bright future with no regret of my mistakes or what seemed to me like mistakes.

Love Yourself

I know that it’s a very broad term when I say it like that, but that’s just how it is. I knew that I had to start loving myself. Simply forgiving myself for my actions was not enough, because I had to start accepting who I was and what I did.

One important aspect of loving yourself is having the people around you love you too. Sometimes you will have toxic people around you and I made sure that I cut those out of my life. But the next challenge was to surround myself with people who did love me.

I adopted a puppy from the local shelter. I always wanted to have a pet and I thought that this was the perfect time for it. The dog still lives with me and is always happy to see me. He was one of the reasons for me starting to love myself more back in the day.

Own Your Mistakes

It is difficult enough to admit my mistakes and forgive myself for them, but it was probably even harder to own them. I taught myself not to make the same mistakes again and start looking for new solutions in different situations.

One thing I knew for sure was that I didn’t want to go back to being miserable and I desperately wanted something to happen. But if I didn’t do anything myself, nobody else would. After all, it was my life.

Be Open To Change

I told myself that it was time. It was time for a change. Even though deep down I wanted it to happen, my first instincts were to hide under my blanket and never face the problems in my life. My job, my friends, my family – it all went down to my fear of facing reality.

So, what I did was train my will to be stronger. I took baby steps rather than changing everything in a single moment. As time passed, I got brave enough to make serious decisions that would lead to big changes in my life.

Respect Yourself

I see many people struggling with this even without realizing it. Respecting myself didn’t come easy. I was used to making myself feel guilty and miserable and I just wasn’t sure that I could ever change that mindset. But there were people who helped.

These were my friends and family who supported me during this difficult period in my life. Some of them turned away from me because they thought I was acting weird, but they were actually angry that I wouldn’t fit the image of me that had developed in their minds. I could finally see who was not a real friend after all.

Boost Your Confidence

Just like learning to respect myself, boosting my confidence was objectively hard. I often felt like I was not good enough, so I would seek acceptance. And now I had to teach myself that I didn’t really need that. That was insane!

But having a positive image of yourself is necessary to change your life and your mindset. It’s tempting to believe that everything is fine even if it’s not. Your confidence is important, so you should definitely work on this aspect of yourself if you see that you are not confident enough.

Stop Making Excuses

One of the biggest problems I had was that I would often look for excuses. Oh, I didn’t do that because of this. I didn’t do that because of that. It was enough for me, I was sick of it. Once I started making the changes I mentioned above, making excuses became an unnecessary task.

I became more responsible and would face the consequences of my actions. Not going to lie, it was pretty difficult at first. It’s still difficult, but I am more used to it now. Time helps you get used to your new self-image and to the new mindset you will have after going through all the steps that I went through.

Become Mindful

After you work on yourself to become better, you will need to start paying attention to others too. Being mindful is about caring about the people around you and valuing them for who they are and what they do. It doesn’t matter if it’s a relative or a stranger – you need to treat them well.

Once I started loving myself, I found it much easier to love others too. I allowed myself to get attached and to experience positive emotions when someone does something good to me. I used to feel as though I don’t deserve it or I am not good enough for them, but everything changed. I changed.

Start Taking Risks

This was probably the most difficult part as I am not a risk-taker at all. I like staying in my comfort zone even if I know that it’s doing me no good. But as I gained more confidence in myself, I discovered that I was more willing to take on challenges.

I owned my mistakes and started making more serious decisions. I welcomed change into my life and started working towards my dreams. Taking risks was a part of my life now as I was constantly looking for something better, something I would love.

Remember To Smile

Last but not least, remember to smile. There are not that many people who can genuinely be happy with what they have and be optimistic even when everything seems to be going downhill. I chose to be the kind of person who smiles even on the darkest of days.

I hope that you become such a person too. It really does make a difference when you love yourself and let others love you, but it’s worth even more when you fully disappear in positive thoughts. It is a feeling like nothing else.

Final Thoughts

All in all, I think that what I learned from this journey of self-improvement, change, and discovery is that our happiness is in our own hands. All we need to do is start making the first steps towards it and not be afraid to allow ourselves to be happy.

About The Author:

William Rodgers is a content writer working for The Word Point, an international translation service. As he knows several foreign languages, William’s main focus is writing SEO articles for businesses that want to drive their brand in the international market. His goal is to continually help more marketers fill Google search results with content that really matters.

Feel free to contact him https://twitter.com/William81597390

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