Contributed by PFC Subscriber Shari:
As I write this I am filled with grief. My daughter’s friend from New York City was found dead in her apartment this Wednesday afternoon. There is no word yet on how she died. She has been missing since Monday. She was 27 years old.
I have a “to do” list that is huge, filled with commitments and “things” that need to get done and, yet, I sit here frozen in a state of numbness. I think numbness is the right word. “What must her Mom be feeling right now,” I empathize and “God, I wish I was in Chicago right now hugging my own girl!” I am numb not just because of this beautiful young lady’s death but because every week it seems more and more of the heaviness and the burdens of those around me are thrown into my awareness in some kind of carpet bomb fashion.
I am holding so much right now and I am not alone. We humans are in a war and most of us are completely in denial about it. It perplexes me sometimes how so many of us go about our business every day, selling our wares, watching our investments, getting wrapped up in mindless TV, drinking too much, partying too much and avoiding “feeling” what is really inside us. I totally get it. I get it because I made the choice 30 years ago to “feel” what is inside of me. It has been a rocking and rolling roller coaster ride ever since then. What did Morpheus say in the Matrix movie, “After this there is no turning back.” I took the red pill and unfortunately there was far more than one rabbit hole. So, I really do understand why people do everything to avoid waking up. But then there are those moments like right now when a sweet 27 year old dies way too early. I guess these are the moments that are meant to wake us up.
So, tonight, I am putting down my “to do” list. I am going to do the only thing that has allowed me to move through each and every rabbit hole somewhat intact. I am going to connect with what makes me feel alive. Meditation works best for me but every human needs to find their way to maneuver through Wonderland. And I guess each person can call it what they want — God, Goddess, Source, Mom, Dad, Higher Self, Earth, Art, Love. I just know it is the only thing that makes sense of the senseless and profane holographic reality that we call 3D Earth right now. I am going to connect with My True Mother energy, my real mom who loves me unconditionally. I am going to allow her to blanket me in love and I am going to surrender and just “be.” When I connect like this somehow I am able to quiet that part of me that just talks incessantly, the loud tape loop in my head. And miraculously I find all my answers this way. Please don’t ask me to verbalize any of these answers. They all show up as packets of “knowing.” They are deep pockets of wisdom in the chambers of my heart and they bring me peace. So, as I stand on this Earth with my God and I endure the Apocalyptic Storms of this ascension cycle I will be strong, I will be true in my feelings because I am holding ground with full empathy for what my fellow humans are experiencing. And maybe that is exactly what we were all supposed to be doing all along.
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